I, ____________________ SOLEMNLY SWEAR TO PAY NO DUES, NEVER TO VOTE ON ANY MATTER OR ACTIVITY, TO JUST SHOW UP WHENEVER MY PRESENCE IT NOT REQUIRED AT BUT IS ALLOWED, THAT I WILL NEVER COME TO ANY NON CLUB CLUB NON OFFICIAL ACTIVITY IN ANY CAR OR TRUCK THAT COULD BE DESIGNATED BY ANY OTHER NON CLUB CLUB NON MEMBER AS A "RICER". I FURTHER PLEDGE TO SCORN AND PHYSICALLY FIGHT IF DEEMED NECESSAY BY A NON VOTE OF THE MAJORITY OF NON MEMBERS ANY ATTEMPT BY ANY NON PREAPPROVED "UN" MEMBER TO NOT WANT TO BECOME A NON MEMBER IN THE NON CLUB CLUB WHO APPLYS FOR SAID NON MEMEBERSHIP IF SAID NON APPLICANT DOES NOT OWN AT LEAST ONE
SO HELP ME, BOWLING GREEN
Please print, sign and date, then destroy in a manner that leaves no evidence whatsoever!
And our RULES & WHYLAWS
THE NON CLUB CLUB of OKLAHOMA
THE NONRULES AND WHYLAWS
SECTION ONE THE NONRULES
1. There are no Rules!
2. See nonrule number 1.
SECTION TWO THE WHYLAWS
1. The Whylaws are not needed but since they are required for some unknown reason we have agreed to not have the following:
a. No one shall be excluded from nonmembership unless they don’t own a Corvette, know someone who does, never wants to own one, or thinks that Corvettes suck.
b. Dues will not be accepted at any time! If you feel the need to buy something, buy a beer, lunch, dinner or a very expensive mod for another nonmember.
c. Compliments on a nonmembers Vette are encouraged but not required unless you are trying to trick another nonmember into complying with 1.b. above. Then it might be a good idea.
d. Trash talking on the Corvette Forum, in person, or on any other semi-acceptable form of communication is very much encouraged, but, not required.
e. Modding of any Corvette is permissible at any time for any reason even if no one understands or agrees with the mod in nonquestion.
f. No votes are considered binding for any reason whatsoever for whatever the vote was taken for because,,,,,no votes can be counted because no voting will be allowed or recognized. See Nonrule number 1.
g. Aspirin is the recommended, but non required drug to ingest before reading further.
h. Non Club Club of Oklahoma nonevents are non sanctioned by anybody, any Body unless the nonmembers nonagree that it is cool to show up or not.
i. A fully nonsanctioned Non Club Club of Oklahoma event is defined as anytime one or more nonmembers do anything while doing that function within 10,000 miles of their Corvette or if the nonmember thinks about their Corvette within three and one half weeks of performing the aforementioned thing they were doing.
j. Any nonmember can be identified as driving or parking any Vette as either really clean or really filthy or anywhere in between at anytime unless it is real dark. Then, and only then, unless nobody cares or notices, can such identification and description be a matter of discussion or not.
k. Photographic evidence of Mods are encouraged but not required unless a nonmember throws the smiley face with the BS flag, either in person or on the Corvette Forum or other acceptable communication forum. In case of the noncompliance with this whylaw, nothing will be done, maybe.
l. Street Racing is Officially discouraged and will not be tolerated,,,,but will be graded.
m. At NO Time shall any nonmember not belong to the Non Club Club of Oklahoma unless at that time the nonmember secretly needs to not belong in order to save his or her life, or, get laid.
n. Ricer owners SUCK! Mostly.
o. Nonsanctioned Nonevents don't count unless any nonmember wants them to, or not.
p. Never, and WE mean NEVER does any nonmember EVER,,,,,,, NEVERMIND!
q. Damn, we are only on q. Well we don't like q. Or do we?
r. All attempts to increase RWHP or RWTQ are encouraged. But non required,,,,yeah right.
s. Pictures of Non Club Club of Oklahoma NonEvents are Nonsanctioned and cannot be sold, reproduced, copied, edited or given away without the expressed written consent of the pictured nonmember’s car or nonmember. Or not.
t. Really BAD pics can cause death or bodily harm to be inflicted on the photographer by a nonvote of the entire nonmembership.
u. Really tacky, drunken, sober, ugly or any where in between behavior will be noticed.
v. All nonmembers are nonrequired to have on their person or in their console enough quarters to wash their Vette just in case it needs it! Or not.
w. Nonmembers can never renounce their nonmembership unless they don't have a Vette anymore, pledge to never own a Vette ever again, buy a RICER or decide to purchase a Ugo. In which case a special Non Club Club of Oklahoma nonmeeting will not be called to not decide whether or not the nonmember should lose his or her nonmembership status.
x. In no way should nonmembership in the Non Club Club of Oklahoma be considered as an accomplishment of any kind.
y. In no way should nonmembership in the Non Club Club of Oklahoma be considered as anything to be ashamed of. Unless, (see m. above) then it's cool, or maybe just excusable.
z. Finally. See Below*
Nothing on the previous pages means anything at all,,,,,,,,,,unless you want it to, and in that case don't tell anyone because they won't or shouldn't care.